If you have lost a loved one, you are probably grieving. You may feel sad, angry, numb, and confused. Everyone experiences their grief in their own way. We have listed 3 Things to Help with Grief, but there are many other things that you may discover yourself. Or you may learn from a counselor. Grief is a natural process that we experience when a loved one has passed. It is painful and lifelong. We don't forget or replace our loved ones. We just learn how to live with the loss. Moving on is the wrong way to think about it. We move on from bad relationships and jobs. Not loved ones who have passed. Well meaning family and friends may encourage you to be more social, stop focusing on your loss, and live again. Most people go through their bereavement in a healthy way. Occasionally, grief can become problematic. Some people come to counseling at the urging of family. In those cases, we help the grieving person express their grief in healthy ways.

Grief over the Loss of a Pet

The loss of a companion animal can be as painful as the loss of a person. Sometimes, friends and family do not agree with this and will urge the bereaved to get another animal to replace the one who has passed. Over time, that may be what you choose, but there is no rush or perfect timeline for that. You will know when you are ready if that is what you choose to do. The loss of a beloved companion animal is devastating. We do not have the same rituals for pet loss that we have for human loss. But that doesn't mean we cannot institute our own.

3 Things that Help with Grief

It is not healthy to avoid grieving nor is it healthy to wallow in it. Grief comes and goes like the tide. It can feel very overwhelming at times, and then at other times you may feel that it is manageable. Here are some things that can help you navigate the process.

1. Designate Time to Grieve

Each day, before you start your daily activities, take anywhere from 15-30 minutes to think only about your loved one. You can look at photos, videos, think of memories. Set a timer so that you do not exceed the time. Once your timer goes off, tell yourself you will put things aside for now, and that you can revisit things later on if they come up during your day.

2. Reach Out to Others

It is important that you do not isolate while grieving. It is okay to seek solitude. That is actually helpful. But try to talk to a friend or family member each day. Spend time with others, even if it is just for an hour or two. Your deceased loved one would not want you to stop living. But understandably, at times it might be emotionally too much to see people. You don't have to attend parties, but it is important that you see other people and at the very least, talk to someone everyday.

3. Participate in Meaningful Rituals

Your religion, culture, or spiritual practice may have rituals that help with grief. It is good to learn what they are and see if they are helpful to you. Wakes and funerals are widely recognized rituals, but once they are over, you are likely alone with your loss. Think about what you can do to honor your loved one. Lighting candles in their honor can help. Some families dedicate a park bench or participate in charity events in their memory. Plant a memorial garden. Wear symbolic memorial jewelry (etsy has many options for this). It may help.

If You are Struggling with Grief. . .

It may be time to talk with a professional counselor. HHCC's counselor, Lauren Fallat, provides supportive grief counseling with the option of including Art Therapy. The goals of counseling are not to "fix" you--but rather to help you through a difficult time. Your counselor can provide coping techniques that both honor your loss and help you learn how to live with the loss. Feel free to give us a call or send an email to learn how we can be of assistance to you. We can be reached at (908) 857-4422 or info@hhccnj.com

Schedule an Appointment

To schedule an appointment, click on the Book Now button. There you will see our availability for the next two months. You can select the day and time that works best for you. To read more about Lauren Fallat: About Us Learn more about Art Therapy: Art Therapy To read more about grief: Grief & Bereavement We are so sorry for your loss and will do our very best to help and support you.